Evil Goose
by Animerulzs1267
Summary: Yao has given Alfred a goose which he claims is evil, but as Alfred took care of it he realizes the goose isn't so bad. However, things seem strange when he hasn't heard of Arthur for so long. USUK, Rated T.


"Uh...a goose?"

"I got this from one of my trips and thought you'd like it," Yao said as he handed him the large cage. Alfred took it with both hands, it weighed him down and he placed it carefully down by his feet. "You know, you could get someone to cook it for you if you want."

"Why would I want to eat a poor thing like this?"

"Wait...you're not eating it?"

"No, why would I do that? He's so big but he has such...cute eyes? Dude, I like to eat my meat when I have the mindset that I'm not eating something that lived once. I happen to like animals, and I like meat, but I don't want to eat this goose."

"Then I guess I'll have to take it back-" His hands reached for the cage.

Alfred instantly pulled the cage behind him and defended, "Hell no, why would I let you have it? It's mine, so I can keep it!"

"But it's evil!"

"Wait...why would you give me an evil goose?" Alfred heard the goose quacking, sounding upset of being called evil.

"Look, forget what I said, so it give back to me!"

"No, it's mine! So either butt out or I'll release this evil goose on your made-up ass!"

"You-" But Alfred shut the door on his face, locked it and took the heavy cage into the living room.

Maybe he should have listened to what Yao was going to say, but he knew it would end up in an argument he rather not have today.

When an hour passed, Alfred looked through his front door's eyehole and saw Yao was nowhere to be seen. Sighing in relief he returned to the living room only to find his problem making annoying quaking noises. He had forgotten about the goose's presence here after an hour of anxious silence for Yao to suddenly appear. What was he going to do now? He had no clue on taking care of birds, let alone a goose! Toris won't be too keen cleaning up bird poop on the floors and he can't return it to Yao out of fear he might eat the poor thing. Admittedly, he is an meat eater but his mind was set that animals were treated nicely before getting...

Right now, the problem needed fixing. He sure can't call the Ghostbusters (though he secretly wished he could) and he had no idea who would take in an animal like this in their house...

Alfred had no idea what to do right now.

"What are you trying to say to me?"

The goose banged his head on the cage where the lock was, rattling from the movement it was making.

"You...want me to let you out? Wait, before you answer...quack once for yes, and twice for no."

It gave a blank stare at Alfred for a whole minute until it responded with a single quack. Taking that into account, Alfred easily unlocked the lock and opened the cage door, setting it free. The goose dashed out, flapping its wings like arms on a stretch and its body shook out the soreness away. Being subjected in there for so long was clearly bad for the bird, Alfred thought as he crouched and moved closely to the quiet goose.

"Can you understand me?" The goose turned its head, regarding Alfred's closeness and quacked once.

"I guess I should say different questions, so I know for sure you understand me..." Alfred's forehead creased, thinking deeply of a question that will give him two quacks until he thought of a good one, "Do you like junk food?"

The goose's body suddenly charged at Alfred, its wings hitting Alfred who stumbled on his butt and forced to get up so he could race away from the goose who quacked angrily after him. He could take that as a yes, he decided.

XxXxXxX

It had been a hectic few days, but Alfred and the goose-which he named Captain Goosey-were doing well so to speak. Even though Alfred had considered it evil, the goose made his lonely home lively when he either chased it or it chasing him from time to time. Alfred had grown fond of it, thinking Yao was insane to say it was evil. Yes, it had stumbled into his kitchen, knocking every canned food and snacks he had and pooped on the bathroom floors and...actually, how was any of that evil? It was just a goose, it didn't exactly have a human mind, though the way they were communicating suggested otherwise.

The goose had calmed itself a few minutes later after their run-around over Alfred eating snacks before making dinner. Alfred was grateful for that because running around from an evil goose was not an easy exercise. He slumped down on the couch, feeling the stiches in his stomach as he took a second to breathe. The goose padded around the living room, as though exhausted and fluffing its wings for cool air. Alfred thought it was thirsty so he forced himself up, went into the small kitchen, grabbed a bowl, a water bottle and a coke for his parched throat, and returned to find the goose had disappeared.

Before he could put his things down, the bird's shrieks alerted him to run with all the things still in his across arms and he found the noise coming from the bedroom.

"What are you...?" But Alfred's voice finished in a gasp when he saw the goose on his bed and had knocked over a photo by the dresser nearby.

The goose descended down and poked it beak on the frame, "Hey, get away from that!" Alfred cried, dashing for the photograph and placing it carefully upright on the dresser.

When the two noticed how quiet it was, after staring at the photo, Alfred suddenly felt the need to talk as he picked up the drinks he absently dropped.

"That's Arthur, my boy...ex-boyfriend. We broke up recently and I think it's serious this time. I should've said I liked his cooking..." Alfred stared at the picture frame. He and Arthur took it at the park and Arthur's sheepish smile always warmed his heart. He claimed to be camera-shy, but Arthur never said no to having pictures taken with him.

"Wait, why am I talking to you, you are a goose. What would you know about boyfriends?"

"I don't get it," he said aloud. "Arthur hasn't answered his phone for hours. Maybe I should go check on him." He hadn't noticed the goose looked up with alert in its eyes.

Alfred turned his head and said, "I'm going out, don't worry, I'll be at Arthur's-"

QUACK!

"What the-?" The next thing he saw was the goose's beady eyes glaring deadly on him, its beak hit his mouth and a great puff of invading smoke surrounded the room and Alfred felt his lungs spewing hard coughs. He fell on his butt, coughing as the smoke began fading like mist and he saw, instead of a goose, a tall figure standing tall whilst brushing himself.

"Finally, I'm back to normal," the familiar voice said with a sigh of relief.

Alfred stared wide-eyed, shocked of what just happened. Arthur glanced his way and flushed in embarrassment of both being naked and sitting on top of him like this. He saw the pillows on the bed, snatched one and covered his body with a tight hug, covering himself.

"Before you say anything," Arthur snapped, looking away from him, "I had an incident with one of my spells and it turned me into a goose. Yao came in unannounced and after taking one look at me, he had the intention of cooking me. Thankfully, he thought of you for some reason and had taken me here. It's good you took me in instead of leaving me for that idiot. Still don't know why he even gave me to you..."

"Wait...how did you get back to normal, then?"

Alfred caught the blush across his ex-boyfriend's face.

"Well...you remember all those fairy tale stories as a child? It might have something to do with some 'true love's kiss' shite and, well, we were dating so it was logical that there might-I mean, unless-"

"I still love you," Alfred blurted out bluntly.

Arthur turned his head, surprised of his confession.

"You...do?"

"Yeah, I mean, if the kiss didn't work, you'd still be a goose. I guess, you still have feeling for me?"

"I-I..."

"I'm sorry about what I said about your cooking, and all the horrible things I said afterwards-" Alfred's voice rambled on and on when Arthur spoke up.

"No, I'm sorry for lashing out. I'll admit, I'm not the best at cooking but I'm really trying. I also apologize for hitting you with the pan."

"Correction, you tried hitting me with the pan,"

"And I almost hit you..." Arthur whispered, his eyes slowly watering with guilt.

"I kinda deserve it." Alfred confessed as he reached out and touched his boyfriend's cheek softly.

Arthur closed his mouth and thought about what he should say before saying so.

"Do you...?" Arthur trailed off, as though doubtful.

"Yes!"

"You didn't even let me finish!"

"Do I really need to finish what you're going to say? I still love you."

Arthur's mouth opened, closed, and then opened and said, "I love you, too."

The two shared a comforting laugh, kisses were met simultaneously and the two were as happy as could be.

"So...do you think I should get revenge on Yao?"

"Turn him into a cat," Alfred suggested. "Ivan would probably crush it before he realizes it's Yao."


End file.
